I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
