u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Bang-toberfest begins!!
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize
