You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
