this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
His hands were made for my vagina.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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