Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
