I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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