I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
