I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
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