I could have mohawked her pubes.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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