I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
tell me about the eggs
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
