I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
