so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
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