Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
