Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
