Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
