my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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