I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
