Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Randomize