I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize