SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
