The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
