I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize