i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize
