My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
