I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize