See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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