he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I am spending my child support on dildos
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
