It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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