this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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