Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize