you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
