idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
