I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Randomize
