the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
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