guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
