windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Did you pee in the oven last night??
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
