Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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