Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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