He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
