okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
