I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
