dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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