sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize