what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
