??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Someone shattered a urinal.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
