she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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