yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
