Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
