I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
