that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize