i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
