My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
