I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
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