Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
