do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize