They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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