i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
