dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
