I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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