We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Randomize
