He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize