i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
