i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
