The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
