so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
