If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
