Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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