he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
