I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize