Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
