Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
