I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
you will always have a special place in my vag
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
