fuck your aforementioned shoe
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
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