dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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