I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
