Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
