she was so not down for the gang bang
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
